Our server, like many others, seems to have a bit of a healer shortage at the moment. I took advantage of this by leveling my priest first, and managed to see a lot of instances on the way from 70 to 80. It has also meant running a lot of heroics at 80, as I developed a small group of tanks that regularly called on me as their pocket healer. Doing very well in the pick-up groups began to earn me raid invites, as guilds found themselves short of healers, which has meant fairly easy gearing up. It has been great fun, as I’ve always loved running dungeons, and I’ve gotten a lot of practice healing now. I’ve gotten pretty good at it, I think.
So, a few of the guilds that I’ve run raids with have extended offers to join their guilds. I have no intention of leaving my little casual guild, especially if those larger guilds will still have me along to fill out their raids. It is nice to be invited though. Nothing like a good ego massage.
I always thank the raid or guild leaders that ask me to join them, but explain that while I’d be happy to fill in that healer spot any time, I have no plans to leave my guild. They’re usually very cool about this, thank me for the time I am able to raid with them, and keep adding me to the calendar. The invites are made with the understanding that if they get enough guild healers to sign up, I won’t be going, and this is totally fair, I think.
All that said, there are some folks in these guilds (one in particular) that are not doing themselves (or their guilds) any favors by recruiting very aggressively. Recruiting is like a courtship. There is a bit of social finesse required; it doesn’t pay to smother the healer you’d like to recruit. You should do just as you would with someone you’d like to date. You should be respectful of their time, give them space, and let them get to know you. Playing hard to get can make one a little bit more attractive. Coming on too strong reeks of desperation.
Here are some things I would NOT suggest doing, if you are trying to recruit a healer to your guild.
1. Whisper them the second they log in.
I confess, it is nice to be wanted. Who doesn’t enjoy this? I usually get several whispers shortly after I log in, asking me if I’ve done the daily yet, whether I’d like to heal a heroic, etc. Personally, I usually give a friend a good 5-10 minutes before I whisper them to make sure that 1) they weren’t just logging in to check their mail for just a sec before logging again, and 2) they didn’t have something else planned. I realize this means I could miss out on a group or two, but I like to give people their space. Usually, I get whispers within the first few minutes of logging in, while I’m saying hi to the guild and checking my mailbox. This is fine. Lately, however, I’ve been hearing that “plink” that lets me know a whisper has arrived before Dalaran has loaded… uh…
If it’s a friend or someone just saying hi, that’s no problem. If it’s someone asking me for something? Please just give me two minutes to figure out what I’m doing. It’s sort of like watching your neighbor’s house until they come home and calling them before they’ve even managed to put their bags down yet and asking them for a favor. It’s kind of rude.
2. Whisper them every time they log in.
So, this person that has been whispering me the second that I log in has been doing this for the past several days. Really… is it necessary to whisper me every single day? I have gotten the picture — I know they want me to join their guild. I’m always polite about the recruiting part, and tell them I appreciate it, but remind them that I plan to stay with my guild. (Are they hoping to wear me down?)
Also, they’re usually asking me to heal something at that moment for them. Because they ask me every day, I find myself much less inclined to run with them. I don’t want to do anything to encourage this behavior. If you were hoping to build a relationship with someone, would you really call them every single night and ask them to do something? Hopefully not. It sends bad signals, suggesting that you are high maintenance. This is a definite turn off. It makes me wish there were some sort of invisibility setting so they couldn’t see me when I logged in.
3. Suggest that what they’re doing instead of healing your instance/raid is not worthwhile.
I am honest with people if I’m turning them down. “I’m sorry — I’ve just signed on for another heroic.” “I’m sorry — I’ve just logged in for a few minutes for some fishing.” “I’m sorry — it’s getting late and I’m too sleepy to heal anything now.” Normally I get a “kk, thanks!” or something like that. This aggressive person instead says things like, “Fishing is a waste of time.” “You’re not really tired, or else you would just go to bed.” The most obnoxious was last night, when I’d passed on a raid with their guild because my husband and I watch Lost on Wednesday nights. I had already mentioned it to the raid leader and guild leader, but of course, this person asked me if I was going to the raid. I said no and explained why. Their response? “That show is stupid.” /sigh
So, really… insulting someone is going to make you more appealing to them? I don’t think so, bub.
4. Stalk them.
A few nights ago, they whispered and asked me to come heal something for them. I said that I couldn’t, that I was getting ready to log out soon. “What are you doing now?” they asked. I said I was helping a guildie for a few minutes. Seconds later, they showed up and were standing right between said guildie and I. They danced, they flirted, and as if that weren’t enough, they whispered my guildmate saying I said that my guildmate was awesome, making up a bunch of crap. Wtf?
And then last night, as I mentioned, I didn’t raid with them because I couldn’t be on much past 9. We DVR Lost, however, so that gives me a bit of leeway (and allows us to skip commercials). After an Obsidian Sanctum run with my guild, I ran a quick heroic, which we finished up around 9:20. Just before pulling the last boss, I got a whisper from this person that said, “LIAR.” I responded, “STALKER.”
I know, I know, I need to put this person on ignore. Before I do this, I think I’ll discuss it with their guild leader and let them know the issues I’ve been having. I would still like to keep myself available for their raids (even if it means raiding with Stalky McGee), so letting them know directly could ensure they won’t get a twisted interpretation of what has happened over the last week. I’m not sure how they’ll be able to muzzle this guy to prevent him from scaring off healers who may actually be interested in joining the guild, but I sometimes wonder if this is part of the issue they’re having.
Really, it’s worth treating potential guild recruits with respect and at a respectful distance. Otherwise, there’s no way they’re going to join your guild. (Plus, they might post about you in their blogs!)